It's all but a dream... My Hodgkin's Lymphoma Journey

So I lay here at 5:35am because I can't sleep. I have been awake since 3:30am. It's never a good thing being left alone with your thoughts..

I keep going back to the thought "why me?" But then I feel so selfish because I know there are other people out there much worse of then me. I do allow myself sometime to have self pity, I think that's allowed. I tell myself I'm allowed to have a bad day, but only a day! I need to pick myself up again the next day and continue on with my fight. It is hard to get up each day and be positive and happy. I feel like there isn't much to be positive and happy about at the moment, but I try. I need to be strong for my family, for when I am weak they are too.

I think i have come such a long way since I was diagnosed in early October 2012. I would cry everyday and tell people that I couldn't do this and was just generally depressed. I guess now I know I can. I've had 2 1/2 months of treatment and still going. The first month was hard with time spent in hospital and the "first" of everything happening. My first chemo, my first operation, my first hospital stay, my first ambulance ride, my first blood transfusion... The list goes on, the first of everything is the hardest. The unknown is scary. But I got through it all with the support of family and friends.

Xxx