Scans, Scans & More Scans!

So it seems I always say ill be back to update but then don't come back for weeks.. oops!! Sorry! 

5th September - I am happy to sat that my CT scan came back all clear! This marks 1 year of being Cancer free! Woohoo! He was happy with everything except my vitamin d level which is still a little low, so I have uped my dose. I see him again in December with another CT scheduled for March 2015. We spoke about the fact my GP thought I had AVN, he said it is very common in patients that have been treated for blood cancer. 

Avascular necrosis or AVN - is the death of bone tissue due to a lack of blood supply. Also called osteonecrosis, avascular necrosis can lead to tiny breaks in the bone and the bone's eventual collapse. 

11th September - I got in pretty fast to see the Orthopaedic surgeon, which surprised me. I had to have another xray on my hip before my appointment with the surgeon. In the appointment he showed me on the X-rays that the bone is starting to chip away and also has quite a large crack in it! Explains why it's causing a lot of pain. He requested an MRI and then said we would make a decision based on those results. I was rebooked to see him on the 23rd October. 

19th September - I was booked in to have a gated blood pool scan (heart scan). My oncologist requested this because the chemotherapy I had has a high risk of damaging the heart.

This is how they do it:    

• The “in vivtro” method: a cannula or thin plastic tube is inserted into a vein in your arm. The medication that prepares the blood for labelling (stannous pyrophosphate) is then administered via this tubing. About 15 to 20 minutes later about 10 ml of blood is removed through this tubing. The blood is then labelled in the laboratory. About 10 minutes later the patient’s labelled blood is injected back through the same tubing.

The scan it self only takes about 10 minutes. I will get the results back of this scan with my next oncologist appointment in December. I presume its all good because if anything came up wrong I think they would have called my by now!

25th September - I had my first ever MRI, something I was terrified of! I took a pre med of lorazepam to relax me which helped. I was also lucky as it was only my hip that needed scanning I was allowed to go feet first, so the whole time if I tilted my head back slightly I could still see the roof which was good! Having headphones and being able to listen to music also definitely helps. I get the results from this on the 23rd October. 

22nd October - I met with the Orthopaedic Surgeon to get the results of the MRI and make a decision as to where we go from here. He pretty much repeated what he said at my last appointment. He gave me 2 options. Option 1 - Wait and let it take its course until the pain is too much and then go in for a hip replacement or Option 2, do an experimental operation by trying to save the hip bone. This is only experimental surgery so they aren't sure if it would work or not, if it doesn't it will bring on the need to have the hip replacement sooner. So naturally I said I would wait. He mentioned that sooner rather then later the joint will develop arthritis and when it gets to this stage thats when I need to go back and see him and they will do the hip replacement. So at this stage I am booked in to see him again in 1 years time, if the pain gets too much I am too go and see him sooner. I am limited to what I can do, simple things like putting on socks & shoes hurts, sitting down hurts and walking up and down stairs hurts! 

So aside from the AVN I feel good! The pill has made the hot flushes from the menopause go away! I have increased my hours at work to 30+ in the last few weeks, so my body is still getting used to early mornings and long working days. 

xxx

My life is never dull!

I haven't had a lot to update on lately, which is a good thing I guess. 

In my last entry I mentioned that I had hurt my hip/groin, this is still hurting. I saw my regular GP about it and he requested I have an x-ray and ultrasound done on it. The results came back saying there was a small amount of fluid on the joint but nothing else. He then asked me to get a CT scan done. I already had a CT scan booked for the 16th of August for my "cancer check up" so asked if I could just add it on to that and he was fine with that. I arrived for my CT scan and told the receptionist I had the flu with a possible chest infection, the receptionist spoke with the radiographer and she said they would prefer not to do the "cancer" CT that day as they would like my chest to be clear as to not cause any panic if something showed up. They did my hip CT though, if only all my CT scans were that easy! No drink and no injection of the dye! I rescheduled my other CT for 2 weeks time, which is tomorrow. I went and saw a GP and he prescribed antibiotics. I took the week off work to try and fully recover so I would be well enough to have my scan.

I hadn't had a chance to get into my GP to get the results back from my scan as I had been sick and then he was booked out. I guess he got sick of waiting for me as he called me with the results today. He said that there is no blood flow to my hip joint and that he suspects I have something called Avascular Necrosis. He needs to put me onto a specialist and told me to prepare myself that I will most likely need a hip replacement. Not something you want to hear at 27! Now i just wait until I can get into the specialist to see what they say. So now that is 3 things that have gone wrong, Cancer, Menopause and now this! Surely that is it? Not sure how much more I can take!

Speaking of menopause! I had my follow up appointment with my Gynaecologist  on the 5th of August. I got the results back from my bone density scan and funnily enough only 9% of people have stronger hips then me! My spine is also good. I had forgot to get my blood clot test done until the day before I saw her so she hadn't got those results back when I saw her. She told me to send her a text the following week and she would let me know them. She gave me a prescription for the pill and said if the results came back clear I could start taking it. As I was sick in bed with the flu I forgot to message her, so did it the following week. She got back to me and said that the blood tests results were all clear and to start taking the pill. I am going to start tomorrow night, it was easier to start the packet on the right day otherwise it would all get muddled up.  I am a little nervous about taking it due to the risk of it causing blood clots, but I guess they did the test and it came back clear so I should be ok. 

That brings me to today. I have my CT scan tomorrow morning and get the results back on the 5th September. I really really hope it comes back clear!! I will update when I get them back! xx

Anxiety!

Anxiety - a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.

The above explains how my life is. Every little thing going on inside my body makes me feel anxious, every little ache or pain makes stress way too much. 2 years ago I wouldn't have paid any attention to them but now my thoughts run wild with what it could mean and what could possibly be wrong with me. It's mentally draining. My future is uncertain. I guess everyone's is, I just think and worry about mine a lot more then the general person. 

I am coming up to a year since I got the all clear. 4 months exactly! The last 8 months has gone so fast. I have a scan in August, this will be at the 10.5 months mark so if this comes back all clear (fingers crossed it does) then I'm not sure what happens from then onwards, whether I'll go to yearly scans or still have them 6 monthly. 

8 months hair growth - feels like it's taking forever! 

In my last update I said I was seeing my oncologist and gynocologist.  Oncologist appointment went well, he was happy with most things except that my vitamin d levels had only gone up one... That was my fault for not taking it though! Last appt my thyroid levels were low but this time, perfect. I had a sore muscle in my hip/groin area for about 5 weeks before seeing him, and me being me instantly jumped to the conclusion I had bone cancer! So I asked him about that too, he did a few leg tests and put it down to a strained muscle, they can take months to heal. It's still a little sore today but getting better! Really need to stop stressing myself out! In the week leading up to my appointment I kept feeling my neck to see if I could feel anything and was adamant that I could! Turns out I was stressing for nothing... AGAIN! Dr couldn't feel anything! I mentioned to him that the arm on the side that I had a lymph node removed from neck constantly aches, he assured me this is normal for someone who has had a lymphnode removed, phew another thing I don't need to stress about, however it is really annoying and painful. So that sums up that visit. 

A week later I saw the gyno. This was a quick appointment. She went through a few things that I don't really understand. Wants to put me on the pill but with my possible blood clot history wants to do a blood test checking for blood clots and also do a bone density scan to see if going through menopause has weakened my bones. I had the scan last week and it was the easiest, quickest scan I've had to date. Took all of 5 minutes. I can't get back into see her until August. So will get the results back then of both tests. 

In May I participated in my second Relay For Life to raise money for the Cancer Council. In the 2 years we have done it my team/s and I have raised a massive $24,000!! It's something I look forward to every year and am really passionate about!

My beautiful friend Kirsty and I at the Relay For Life. 

So that all brings me to today. I'm alive, healthy(ish) and living one day at a time. 

xxxx

Update..

It seems I left everyone hanging with the results of my scan. The good news is they came back clear, the "tumours" are still shrinking. It was a pretty stressful wait for my results but I returned to work in the few days before my results were due so I had that to concentrate on. I have returned back to my previous employer at 15 hours a week, which works out to 3 days. This is not enough for me and they can't give me any more hours so I am currently looking for full time work.

I have coped with being back at work fine, I do have the odd day where I am tired but with an early night I am ok the next day. My Dr told me to expect this for up to 12 months after treatment. 

My results appointment went as expected. I was slightly confident (but not too much) that the results were going to be ok. There was 2 things that I thought he was going to tell me and I was right. The first one being that I have a Vitamin D deficiency, but that is easily fixed with Vitamin D vitamins. The 2nd and more concerning one was that I have gone in to early menopause. I don't know a lot about this except that I wont be able to conceive children. I have an appointment coming up with a gynaecologist so I will find out more then. These 2 things didn't shock me as I already knew thats what he was going to say. 

He was happy for me to have another CT scan 6 months after my last one, so that will be around August 2014. I have another clinical checkup with him at the 3 month mark which is scheduled for 23rd May 2014. 

So I have now been officially Cancer free for 6 months! The photo below was taken on the 6th April 2014 with 7 months hair growth! I have had an appointment to see how much hair extensions are going to cost me, now I will just wait for it to grow a little bit longer and get them! 

3 month CT scan

So the other day I had my 3 months post treatment scan (it's actually been nearly 4.5 months since my last one)! This will tell me if I am still in remission or not! I need everyone's positive vibes and prayers for great results. I had to go a radiology clinc as the hospital is no longer doing CT scans for out patients. So I rock up and they hand me this bottle of liquid to drink. I say I've never had this before and the nurse said it was how they do it there! I was thinking yippee,no contrast for me, it was wishful thinking as she said I would still need it! So I open the lid and have a sniff, doesn't smell too bad. I poor myself a cup and take a sip... It kind of tastes like flat lemonade. It's a 250ml bottle and I have to drink a cup full every 15 minutes until it was gone. As I was sitting there drinking mine, another girl sat down and got given the bottle, she too took the lid of and had a smell! 

I had nearly finished it when the nurse came back out to get me! I went to a little room and got changed into a hospital gown and then went into the scanning room, by this stage I was busting for the toilet so asked to go to the loo before the scan. Had to wait and ask as I wasn't sure if I was supposed to have a full bladder for the scan. I came back and laid feet first on the bed with my legs sitting over a triangle so they were slightly raised and bent. She put a cannula in my left arm and then attached the tube so she could put the contrast into me, she then aligned the machine so it was ready to go. I had to hold my left arm up straight and the right arm over my head for the first part of the scan and then put both arms down on my stomach for the second part. First part scans your abdomen to your neck and the second part scans neck and head. I get 2 lots of contrast that make you feel warm and like you have peed yourself! Once the scan was finished I got dressed and has to sit in a small waiting room for 10 minutes to make sure I wasn't going to have a reaction to the contrast, she then took out the cannula and I was free to go. 

They gave me the option of picking up my scans or having them sent straight to my Dr! As tempted as I was I knew the right decision was to get them sent to my Dr. If I had picked them up I would have opened them and either for bad or good news or not be able to understand them and stress myself out for 3 weeks! 

I was supposed to get my results back on the 21st but that clinic has been cancelled so now I have to wait until the 28th. 

I had a meeting with my General Manager on Friday to talk about returning to work. All sounds promising so now I am just waiting for them to give me a call to tell me what days and hours they have for me.  

Bye for now

Xxx

Life "after" cancer

While the world goes on around me like everything is normal, my life is anything but. The fear and anxiety that constantly eat away at me is exhausting. I know I'll be forever known as "that girl that had cancer" but surely there is more to me then that? Other reasons people can remember me for? Maybe, maybe not. Realistically I am just a mere human being in a world full of people, why should people remember me for any other reason. When people learn of my story and what I have been through their demeanor changes, they all of a sudden become softer spoken and almost apologetic. Don't treat me differently because I had cancer or tell me that you know what I went through because your Aunts Sisters Cousins Daughter had cancer, because honestly you have no idea how incredibly hard it is to fight something that's trying to kill you unless you have been through it too. You may have watched a love one go through this so you will have some idea, but there is a whole other side to it, the mental side, what it does to your thoughts is possibly harder to deal with then the actual treatment itself. All the thoughts of "I can't do this, I don't want to to do this, Why me?, How could this happen?, What did i do to deserve this?, I would rather die, I want to give up" They all go through your head at one stage or another through treatment.

I am coming up to my first scan post finishing up treatment and to be honest I am completely terrified. I have a 1001 thoughts running through my head. My mind keeps telling me I have symptoms and any "strange" feeling I have in my body makes me swear it's returned. Like I said it's exhausting, both mentally and physically. I have to wait 2 weeks for my scan results which is annoying. I need to be put out of my misery. 

I will be returning to work in the next couple of weeks too. I am unsure at this stage what hours I'll be doing and what store I'll be in, I have a meeting with the General Manager in 2 weeks. After being off work for 16 months it will be tough but good to get back into a somewhat "normal" life. 

I am not sure anyone reads this thing anymore but either way it's good to get it off my chest. Until next time xx