I may have taken the long road but I got there in the end!

This is a post I have been waiting to write for a very long time!! Today I can announce I no longer have cancer!!

I had my results appointment on Friday 4th Oct. I was extremely nervous about it all week. Couldn't sleep much and on the day I felt like I was going to be sick. Lets just say I went in there with a feeling that it was going to be bad news. I had prepared myself for the worst. Sam and his mum Penny came with me. The Dr didn't keep us waiting too long so that was great. He asked how I have been feeling and I said I had a cold, he replied that he will want to know about that soon but first he's sure I want to know my results. I said it depends on if its good or bad news!! His reply was..... "It's all good"!! Phew! I felt like a tonne of bricks had just been lifted from my shoulders. From then on it was all good. He said the Pet scan showed no sign of activity and the Ct scan showed the nodes had significantly dropped in size. I found out that the biggest one in my chest at my last scan in January was 7cm x 4cm, whoa! I hate to think how big it was before i started chemo then! From memory he said its about 4 x 1cm now. I have another appointment with my Oncologist in a months time to have a chat and for him to feel my neck to make sure nothing is happening. I will have at least 3 CT scans in the next 12 months and blood tests routinely.

I have realised a lot in the last 12 months. I have figured out who will and wont be there for me. I lost a lot of people I thought were friends but at the same time I made some incredibly great new friends who have stuck by my side since the very start and are still there today <3 you all, you know who you are! 

Although I am technically 'free of cancer' physically, mentally I never will be. It will always be in the back of my mind. For the next few years until my hair grows long it will be a constant reminder of what I went through every time I look in the mirror. I have scars all over my body from the chemo. Every time I stand up my body aches. I have a scar on my neck that one day I hope I can look at with pride instead of wanting to cry at the reminder of what once tried to kill me. Life wasn't meant to be like this, I shouldn't have to live with the constant anxiety and 'what ifs' for the rest of my life. Not to forget all the scans, doctors appointments and blood tests I will have to have for the rest of my life. I was 25 and cancer took away my innocence, it took away my care free attitude towards life, it took away me. I now look at the world in a whole new light, I will do my best to help people that need help and always be there for my friends when they need me. I think now I am a lot more of a giving person and always try to think of others. You don't need to spend money to make someone happy, you just need to be there for them. Just sitting and spending time with them, sending them a card or a text to say you are thinking of them and ask how they are, that is all that is needed and really not that hard. It takes 2 seconds to send a text and honestly you will never know when you need your friends or help in return. 

I thank everyone who was beside me on this journey, love you all! 

So now onto the party planning!!